Sex Education: Between The Liberals And Puritans

Without trying to be sarcastic or attempting to be intellectually mischievous, I am often confused about the usage of the terms “sex education” and “intimateity education,” which I often find being used interchangeably in most academic literatures and advocacy resources of a good number of our reputable NGOs.

Sex education is broadly defined as instruction on issues relating to human intimateity, including intimate anatomy, intimate reproduction, intimate activity, reproductive health, emotional relations, reproductive rights and responsibilities, abstinence and birth control. The term, “sex education,” may have been adopted from the more liberal developed countries where issues relating to intimate activity are freely discussed for a lot of our advocacy programmes in reproductive health. Read More Below...


Human intimateity is broader than mere intimate activity, as it encompasses all the issues that define us as girls and boys, men and women, and everything in-between; potently shaped by cultural values, religion, history, family tradition, parenthood and community.

In our contemporary society, children are exposed to intimate imagery and language, especially in the local and international media; and their bodies are experiencing and developing intimate responsiveness earlier than it used to be, coupled with globalisation of values. Their curiosity is inevitable and the answers they get should educate and not confuse them.

Adolescence is a particularly stressful and confusing time, as both physical and cognitive aspects of intimate expressions begin to align and the opportunities for personal decision-making expand as they move to high school or the university.

Parents and guardians, as stakeholders, desire that they correctly manage their intimate drive as they navigate through myriads of counsels in the process of maturing into adulthood. As a response to this perceived need, typical African parent, after years of refusing to discuss it despite evident signs of intimate maturation in the adolescent, may come up with a deceitful sex education augmented by several rules and regulations deliberately designed to discourage the adolescent from doing anything about the intimate drive which is potentially active as a result of the elaborating hormones, especially at this time.

This strategy, although puritanical, largely ignores the fact that the adolescents, according to the cognitive theory of Piaget, is at the stage of hypothetico-deductive-reasoning when they attempt to validate or otherwise discard evolving strategies emanating from strange bodily experiences, personal observation and counsels from other sources. Such adolescents may feel deceived by parents, and thus shut down communication avenues, especially concerning intimateity; and subscribe to external, unreliable sources, especially from peers.

The other extreme is the liberal, educated parents who adopt the explicit, heavily biological and demonstrative sex education designed in conformity to the very popular sex education programmes of our public health advocates, with a view of preventing teenage pregnancy and intimately transmitted diseases, especially HIV.

The two hypothetical parents have the same goal in mind but taking different pathways. The first is typically African, restrictive, with abstinence in mind; while the latter is purely scientific, liberal and may teach contraceptive methods to the adolescents.

The two groups have very valid points, borrowing strength from science, religion and culture. The ultimate goal of any form of intimateity or sex education is eloquently captured in the concept of intimate health, which is a state of physical, emotional, mental and social wellbeing in relation to intimateity, and not merely the absence of disease, dysfunction or infirmity.

intimate health requires a positive and respectful approach to intimateity and intimate relationships as well as the possibility of having pleasurable and safe intimate experiences free from coercion, discrimination and violence.

Sigmund Freud had envisaged that the biological quality of the intimate drive might be overemphasised when he described it as the underlying unconscious motivation for all of life activities. This premise makes us human and challenges us to come up with continuous personal appraisal and management of our intimate drive in the direction of wholesomeness, not just an inevitable physiological dissipation.

For the contemporary sex educationist, it seems there is an overemphasis on the biological dimensions of intimateity to the detriment of other sophisticated dimensions of human intimateity such as self-dignity and respect, taking responsibility for choice of partner and the act, taking informed decision for the timing of the act and possible outcome, developing skills for the consideration of the feelings of intimate partner, evolving personal strategies for control and responsible expression.

Human beings do not want to be enslaved by any appetite, hence our sex education must take into consideration the inherent self-transcendent passion that differentiates human beings from animals, especially our intimate drive.

This graduates the concept of sex education from a narrow paradigm of the adolescent need and makes it relevant and applicable across life span, with the ultimate goal of developing intimately healthy human beings.